Widow Stories

From the first time your eyes met to the day you received the knock on the door… All of these memories are forever etched in our minds—for better or worse.

This space is where you can share these memories. No matter how you feel about your memories, telling your story lightens your load and helps those you share it with heal. You never know how your story will touch someone—it may be the thing that anchors a fellow widow/er to sanity or gives them the momentum they so desperately need to get through the day.
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Though for the past forty-five years I have never forgotten a single moment of the night I had become a war widow—minutes
Left Behind in disbelief and in a state of confusion. This couldn't be happening. It's just all an illusion.
We are alone here. My family is in Virginia and his is here in north Carolina but I haven't heard from them since the funeral.
His ROTC professors from Akron U came to tell me he would not be coming home. I have gone on with my life becoming a RN...
I still remember the day I was handed his flag...I am very proud to still be called Mrs. Larry Long.
As time began to pass, I looked back on the Gulf War and tried to remember some things that happened and realized I had better write it down, or I might forget...
11 years in the service and three tours in Vietnam made life hell on earth for him but now he's at peace...
We were so happy. Content with our little life. Crazy in love. We cooked dinner together every night and made pancakes every saturday morning.
My husband had “succumbed” to injuries, sustained…those are the words forever etched in my mind.
He had a wonderful sense of humor, an infectious smile, and a personal drive to excellence that you could spot a mile away.
She was a Medical Technologist, one of very few enlisted to hold that license. Between living and working downwind of the burn pits and the high level pathogens she was dealing with, she developed Emphysema...
It has been four years since Matthew and I met, and five since I lost Shawn in Iraq. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss him. Most people think because Shawn is no longer here...
He was only 52. The Love of my Life! I made a promise to him when he laid dying at hospice in Jacksonville, Florida that I would continue the fight...
Well, that is not how our story ends, nor is that where it began. I choose to still walk with my husband because He is my forever angel and I can and so I do.
I dragged myself to my son's football games and brought my Allen's ashes to every game. My son wanted that. He'd meet me on the field and he'd hug and kiss me and take his dad to the locker room.
I want to tell those of you on this journey .. hang on.. when things don't seem like they will ever get better.. on the days you just cant do anymore.. hang on.
We were living the dream. Until we weren't. We were in southern CA when Chuck's cancer returned. It was diagnosed in the ER...
And to this day, I carry him with me. 12 years hasn't minimized my feelings for him, but my way of honoring him is to do what he would want me to do: live life to the fullest.
So much has changed in 10 years. I have witnessed and experienced death and near death, I have fought, I have been betrayed, I have had people leave my life because they could not handle me after death.
To know a heart can truly sink, To hurt To dream To survive
Going to work on Monday always sucks, so trust me, I knew today was Monday. I asked my brother in law the simple question, “what’s the date?” He responded “the 23rd.”
Today I took a bath for the first time since Jeremy passed. That's 4 years 7 months and 4 weeks without a bath. Don't worry folks I have showered since then.
It was a Friday evening and I had sent Tony a text message earlier that morning and never heard back from him. That wasn't unusual considering how crazy both of our schedules were...
I thought I was doing pretty well...but I was stuck. Too much to do, too many excuses, too many distractions.
I met some of my closest friends in New Orleans and I feel that by getting involved with the AWP as early as I did, I was able to re-route my life in a positive direction...
I don’t refer to “change” so much anymore. Rather, I instill phrases such as process, journey and evolving. Through time, practice, energy, love, trust...
When I got the call, I rushed to the ER to listen to a Doctor prepare me for what I would see. I’m glad he did because I didn't understand how dire the situation...
I called my mom quick to let her know I was on my way to the hospital because there was an accident and I'd let her know more when I did.
...3 days later I got an email from this cutie guy who didn't live to far from me saying "I meet 90% of your requirements would you like to know which ones"
One and two and three and four. Pinch and blow. One and two and three and four. It seemed like hours, days before they arrived.
So after hours of waiting, at about 0115, the Army Search and rescue team arrive and started the recovery search for his body. I refused to leave until they found my husband...
Twenty three years ago…. It feels like only yesterday
How can I use words to explain, or tell, or show..what happens to a 21 year old girl when her beautiful young husband is gone forever?
Since his passing life stands still. Only for a moment with my children do I have to come back to reality and out of the haze to hug them...
You stood tall with your head high, confident you would not die; but on that night you flew a mission, and God took you away without my permission.
To me, he was invincible. I never thought that he wouldn’t succeed or come home.
...apparently they had been trying to notify me all day. And everyone else in my neighborhood figured it out before I was actually told ( we lived on post).
I was there every time he had to be hospitalized, even if it meant spending time away from my little one for a night or two. So when he is admitted to ICU from his heart rate being over 200...
It has been a struggle to keep moving forward. I was 19 when I buried him. He didn't make it to his 20th birthday. Not a day goes by where I don't think of him...
...the amount of pills he was on, I just couldn't even fathom how any one person could be prescribed so many for so many different things.
He decided to get help during the year we had to wait to try getting pregnant again. He was diagnosed with PTSD.
I used to lay with my head on my husband’s chest, listening to his heart beat because I never knew when I might not have the chance to hear it again.
It was the best thing I ever did... marrying him. Then, two months later, I wake up to him dead. I still hurt for him daily.
He called me from Saudi Arabia and told me that he wrote me a poem after a dream that he had. I was excited and asked him what it was about.
9 years after we met, our time together was cut short by his accidental overdose from the meds he took after being severely injured in Baghdad, Iraq...
He fought so hard, but lost the battle with cancer May 24,2013. May 28th was our anniversary for our church wedding. May 31st is when he was laid to rest.
This love never dies It continues to grow Even though you are not here It is watered
Jason still wasn’t the same. We tried doctors, meds, group therapy, counseling and nothing seemed to help.
...daily am reminded of with Michael’s absence … with his uniforms that hang lifeless in the closet … with the flag displayed on the shelf.
...she had to sign off on everything she got back. His watch, his wallet, his cash, and the last thing they pulled out was a tiny white box. Inside the tiny white box was an engagement ring. My engagement ring.
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