Since his passing life stands still. Only for a moment with my children do I have to come back to reality and out of the haze to hug them…

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By the minutes

Posted By Tiffany, military widow of Joseph P. Sweeney

My name is Tiffany Sweeney. My beloved Marine, husband, father, son and
friend Joseph Patrick Sweeney left his time on earth to be with GOD on
12/17/2013 by HIS choosing he was 37.
11.25.1976-12.17.2013 RIP my love always to HONOR your SACRIFICE for
America, Freedom, Life, Liberty, and Justice. You will NEVER EVER BE
FORGOTTEN.
He survives 5 children 18 Katelyn,16 Anthony,8 Jacob,6 Bella,4 Joseph
Jr.
Joey entered the Marine Corp at the tender age of 17. He followed in
the footsteps of his father Paul Francis Sweeney a beloved Marine as
well, it was in his blood to follow family tradition of soldiers. Joey
fought in Bosnia and Afghanistan as an EOD grunt he would call himself,
Sgt Sweeney the front guy on the line making sure his men were safe to
return home.
Through the time he served until he left the Corp on his journey in
life there were many struggles and many joys. To long to list in the
story but none the less he lived a life of very high highs and very low
lows. I will never understand fully why he chose death over life but
maybe that is not meant for me to know or understand it is between him
and GOD.
Since his passing life stands still. Only for a moment with my children
do I have to come back to reality and out of the haze to hug them, love
them, talk about him and act as though life is supposed to move on.
Agony, guilt, extreme depression and sadness plague us. My children
moan and yearn for his voice and touch as do I. I read these stories of
our loved ones fallen and my heart aches and yearns to try and find
answers and help for other soldiers with severe PTSD, being alive in
love and life but broken, lonely and desperate inside with no where to
turn because that’s not what they do.What happens after war in the real
world.
They don’t talk about the pain from war, they never speak the unspoken.
We pick up those pieces in everyday life with them not knowing where
the anger or eery quietness out of the blue comes from whether it is
work, family life and the juggling of day to events and situations.
Never knowing what is underneath all of it because they hide it so well.
It will be a month since he passed on 1/14/14 2 days from now. I search
everyday for something not knowing what it is I am searching for as my
mind is scattered and lost. I can’t concentrate on anything, I can’t
sleep with the images of finding him in our bedroom, this must be an
accident only to come back to reality that he is gone forever and the
reality of it all.
Who is the woman starring back at me, the longing the yearning the
anything……..I chose life for my children and family but I operate
with only one side of me and a broken heart as we all try together to
survive by the minutes of the day not knowing what is around the corner
and not really caring.
My friend found this website and it has become a place of reading
refuge, heartfelt stories, and a little ray of light in a dark dark
world I hope one day I can come out of. Thank you all for sharing your
fight, your pain and your stories to help a new person like me
searching for answers, respite, and other survivors that somehow find a
way to see life as beautiful again amidst the hole in our hearts that
will be there forever.
For in this moment I take a step back, say a prayer to Joey and ask
that he continue to guide me in the fight for him and all of our lost
loved ones to help each other find a place of healing, peace and life
again. RIP my beloved. My best friend, my soulmate, my everything.
Tiffany Anne Sweeney

By the minutes

My name is Tiffany Sweeney. My beloved Marine, husband, father, son and
friend Joseph Patrick Sweeney left his time on earth to be with GOD on
12/17/2013 by HIS choosing he was 37.
11.25.1976-12.17.2013 RIP my love always to HONOR your SACRIFICE for
America, Freedom, Life, Liberty, and Justice. You will NEVER EVER BE
FORGOTTEN.
He survives 5 children 18 Katelyn,16 Anthony,8 Jacob,6 Bella,4 Joseph
Jr.
Joey entered the Marine Corp at the tender age of 17. He followed in
the footsteps of his father Paul Francis Sweeney a beloved Marine as
well, it was in his blood to follow family tradition of soldiers. Joey
fought in Bosnia and Afghanistan as an EOD grunt he would call himself,
Sgt Sweeney the front guy on the line making sure his men were safe to
return home.
Through the time he served until he left the Corp on his journey in
life there were many struggles and many joys. To long to list in the
story but none the less he lived a life of very high highs and very low
lows. I will never understand fully why he chose death over life but
maybe that is not meant for me to know or understand it is between him
and GOD.
Since his passing life stands still. Only for a moment with my children
do I have to come back to reality and out of the haze to hug them, love
them, talk about him and act as though life is supposed to move on.
Agony, guilt, extreme depression and sadness plague us. My children
moan and yearn for his voice and touch as do I. I read these stories of
our loved ones fallen and my heart aches and yearns to try and find
answers and help for other soldiers with severe PTSD, being alive in
love and life but broken, lonely and desperate inside with no where to
turn because that’s not what they do.What happens after war in the real
world.
They don’t talk about the pain from war, they never speak the unspoken.
We pick up those pieces in everyday life with them not knowing where
the anger or eery quietness out of the blue comes from whether it is
work, family life and the juggling of day to events and situations.
Never knowing what is underneath all of it because they hide it so well.
It will be a month since he passed on 1/14/14 2 days from now. I search
everyday for something not knowing what it is I am searching for as my
mind is scattered and lost. I can’t concentrate on anything, I can’t
sleep with the images of finding him in our bedroom, this must be an
accident only to come back to reality that he is gone forever and the
reality of it all.
Who is the woman starring back at me, the longing the yearning the
anything……..I chose life for my children and family but I operate
with only one side of me and a broken heart as we all try together to
survive by the minutes of the day not knowing what is around the corner
and not really caring.
My friend found this website and it has become a place of reading
refuge, heartfelt stories, and a little ray of light in a dark dark
world I hope one day I can come out of. Thank you all for sharing your
fight, your pain and your stories to help a new person like me
searching for answers, respite, and other survivors that somehow find a
way to see life as beautiful again amidst the hole in our hearts that
will be there forever.
For in this moment I take a step back, say a prayer to Joey and ask
that he continue to guide me in the fight for him and all of our lost
loved ones to help each other find a place of healing, peace and life
again. RIP my beloved. My best friend, my soulmate, my everything.
Tiffany Anne Sweeney

2 thoughts on “By the minutes”

  1. I am so sad for my beautiful daughter, Tiffany. Thank you for sharing your story and reaching out to help others, even in your time of such sorrow. We never know of the pain these young men are suffering with, because they try to be strong and get through it on their own. I am so sorry for your broken heart and for other women who are hurting and trying to find their peace and light again. The sun will shine again someday. I love you. ~ mom

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