It was the morning of December 26, 2006; I was asleep peacefully when suddenly I heard a knock at the door. Not thinking anything of it I rolled over and assumed my mother would answer the door. A couple minutes passed and there was another knock, but this time there was something disturbing about it. Finally, I heard my mom walk down the stairs. Suddenly it hit me I darted out of bed, meanwhile thinking to myself, “no way, this can’t be happening.” As I reached for my bedroom door it opened, there stood my mom in tears. At this very moment I knew that my life was about to be shattered into a million pieces. I collapsed to the floor trying to gather my thoughts “ as though they were stepping stones set far apart across a whirling flood” (Wharton 250). Trying to prepare myself for what I was about to hear. As Edith Wharton states in “A Journey” “her head was spinning and she tried to steady herself by clutching at her thought as they swept by, but they slipped away from her like bushes on the side of a sheer precipice down which she seemed to be falling” (252). I don’t think I could have worded it better; this pretty much sums up exactly how I was feeling that very morning. There they stood at the end of the stairway, two soldiers in class A uniforms. “She found herself the center of sympathetic eyes” (Wharton 251). All I could keep saying in my head was, “this is a dream, just wake up!” This is my story of how life changed so drastically by that knock at the door. I hope that my story will help you to better understand just how precious life is and how short it can be.
My husband and I had known each other since the 4th grade. We really had never noticed one another until our junior year in high school. We began dating and just knew that we were perfect for each other. My husband joined the Army our junior year of high school and was shipped to basic training and AIT (advanced individual training) one month after our high school graduation. While he was at basic training he learned he would be stationed in Schweinfurt, Germany. This was the same night I received a phone call from him saying, “ I got my orders and I’m going to Germany, but not without you.” This was a phone call I will never forget. It was at that point we started to plan our wedding. For about the next month I rushed to get things prepared for our big day. He graduated basic training and AIT October 28, 2005, and we got married November 5, 2005. Life could not have been any better for us. Two weeks later he was on a plane to Germany. I was unable to go with him right away due to paperwork needing to be done with the Military. I did not get to Germany until March 2007, due to paper mishaps with the Army.
At last we were together and ready to begin life’s journey. It was about a month after being in Germany that we were notified that my husband’s unit would be deploying in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. We had no dates, but knew that they could leave at a moments notice. We took one day at a time and cherished every moment we were able to spend together. This is when we decided that on block leave we would take our long awaited honeymoon. He took me to Paris, France and London, England. We did everything we possibly could and tried not to even worry about deployment. After returning home from a fabulous trip, he was then sent to the field for 30 days of training. It was at this point that we knew deployment was going to happen and it was going to happen quickly. We began to see each other very rarely.
October 28, 2006, deployment day, “..The day of leaving came” (Wharton 246). This was the worst day of my life, or so I thought then. The good bye was too short and it seemed like we just were not given enough time. I clanged to him like a child would their mother. I was not going to let him get on that bus. He repeated over and over “ babe, I’m sorry, I have to go, you have to let go.” As we said our final good bye I never in a million years thought that was going to be the last time I ever would hold him. I was so confident that he would be coming home. He was such a great soldier and so well trained, in my eyes nothing could hurt him. As I stood there and watched his face disappear as the buses drove away I could feel my whole world crumble before me. I then drove home and began the dreaded countdown. Time went on and we got to talk daily and communicate through web cam. Being able to communicate and see each other on the web cam daily made the days seems to go a little faster and really helped his morale. A couple months into the deployment he received his R & R (rest and recuperation) date, which would have been March 2007, just in time for our birthdays.
As the holidays started to approach he kept insisting I go back to the states to be with family for Christmas. I fought with him for a couple of weeks, telling him I was staying in Germany because that is where I felt closest to him. He ended up winning and I went back to Michigan to be with my family, for what I thought would only be two weeks. Things were going great; I finally got to meet my nephew for the first time and was able to be around everyone I loved. Having my family around and getting their support through the deployment was wonderful. I was still able to keep in close contact with my husband over the web cam and my family was also able to see him. Christmas morning came and I was awakened by my computer beeping at me. My husband was able to find a quick few minutes to get on the web cam and talk to all of us and see everyone open gifts. This was the best Christmas gift I could have ever asked for. Little did I know this would be the last time I would ever see my husband’s face or hear his voice ever again. A few hours later my husband went out on his final mission, Operation Dagger Iron Claw. My husband and two other soldiers were killed when an IED (improvised explosive device) detonated near his vehicle. “The suddenness of the change had found her so unprepared” (Wharton 245). December 26, 2006 at 8:00 a.m. I was notified that my husband had been killed and would never return home to me.
Reading the short story “A Journey” I was able to somewhat relate to how this girl was feeling, she was now a young widow as I am. Our stories are very different but our pain is very much alike. Her husband died from an illness they knew was going to eventually kill him, they were somewhat prepared for this day. My husband was taken from me in a horrible way, my husband was killed. I knew there was a possibility of him being killed but I never thought it would really happen.
I was 19 years old when all of this happened to me. Never did I think that at the age of 19 I would be burying my husband. Life for me changed dramatically, but the rest of the world kept going and I could not understand why? The saying “when it rains it pours,” is true, not only did I lose the love of my life, but also to me I lost my whole world and everything in it. I lost my future; I lost my chances of ever having children with the most amazing man I knew, I lost everything. This December will be 6 years since my husband was killed, but I can honestly say that I am moving on with my life and I am happy again. It took a lot of tears and hard work to get where I am today but I’m proud to say that I did it, and the best part is, I know my husband would be so proud.
Life seems to happen so fast and offer so many opportunities and when your young you think nothing can hurt you and you think you have all the time in the world to accomplish something. That’s not always the case, just because you are young does not mean that tragic things cannot occur and certain things cannot stop you from achieving your dreams. I think everyone, not just the younger generation, but I think we all need to sit back and really just enjoy life and live life for what you have today because tomorrow may not be in your future. We need to take advantage of every opportunity thrown our way; Go and try to reach those dreams you have.
Some may say that my situation is not very common; well they are right to a point. What happened to me, sadly, happens to a lot of other families. Granted not every 19 year old has to deal with everything I have dealt with in my life, but what I’m trying to get at is, anything can happen. Car accidents are sudden, illnesses are sudden, and there are many other things out there that can cause you to change your plans for the future instantly. I want the younger generation to look at my story and understand that things happen, maybe not the way things happened to me but they do. Live life for today and do not worry what other people say or what other people want you to do. Do things that make and keep you happy. I was lucky enough to get the chance to marry the love of my life and get to see him fulfill his dreams. Some people never even get as far as I was able to in my past few years. I was given the opportunity to get married, move to Germany, and explore the world. We need to take those chances, dive in and don’t pass up opportunities that sit and await you. I would change nothing about my past except for the fact that I wish I had more time.
Do not regret anything you do in your lifetime. When you’re in your late 60’s you should be able to look back at your life and say “wow I really accomplished a lot.” You do not want to be one of those people that are in their 70’s or 80’s and regretting for turning down the chance to go sky diving at 20 years old or turning down the chance to go on that hiking trip you always wanted to. Go out and do everything, try it all, the world has so much to offer and in my opinion, there just is not enough time for it all. Go to school become the doctor you always dreamed of. Do what makes you happy and do it with no regrets or shame.
I know that because of what I have gone through my vision of life is so much different. I look at things in a whole different prospective. To me life is just too short and I am going to try to do anything and everything I can that I’ve always wanted to do. Before my husband was killed, I can honestly say that I did not look at life in that way. I thought I had all the time in the world to get things done and to go places I thought were neat. Now, when I see an opportunity I take it, I go for it. I have always said that I wanted to go sky diving, never in a million years would I honestly do it, until what happened in my life, I can say that I am now going next summer. I do not pass anything up. I am going to try anything I can because in my eyes, my life could end tomorrow and I do not want to leave this world and not have done the things I wanted to do.
To end, just be your self, be happy with who you are and who you have become. Be able to tell your grand kids all the great things you accomplished and achieved in your lifetime. Live every day as if it were your last. Do not take your time here on Earth for granted, live every moment you’re here and be proud. I know that my husband died doing what he loved and that was fighting for his country. He became the soldier he always wanted to be and he was able to marry the love of his life. He may not have been able to have kids or further his career in the Army but even though he is not here to tell the story, I am here for him and I will be sure to tell my nephew, my little brothers and other family one day that my husband lived his life to the fullest and he did what he loved to do. I hope that after reading my story you are able to go out and live your life and be happy about the things you have accomplished.
First of all, I thank your husband for his unselfish duty. Thank you as well for being a strong military wife. I pray that your pain is lightened and I pray for a happy future for you. I can not fathom your loss but am very sorry for it. I wish you all the best in life. Thank you for sharing your emotional story with all of us. From
My family to yours, thank you from the bottoms of our hearts. Your husband is the reason we ALL enjoy our freedom! God bless you on your journey in life.
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. A tragic loss is the same no matter how old you are. It breaks my heart that your soul mate was ripped away from you far too soon. This article was well written and really hit home. Know that you did a fantastic job and your point was well received 🙂 Take care Love and keep sharing your story! I know I’m going to kiss my husband a little harder and hug him a little tighter tonight. Ill think about the bungee jumping xoxoxox
Thank you for sharing your story. God bless you.
dear krista thank you for sharing your story,I was having a rough day today since I found out 3 more funeral in one week were taking place with postal letter carriers, and I read your story, I married at 19 with dreams of a future and had a long term marriage for 33 years and in dec of 06 my spouse had been working without a day off due to changes in postal mangment and was to live only a few more months, until may, when I lost him and at near 60 I am startind over as well, and i think I like your words from warton as well as your encourgment in your courage of going on without, I appareciate your insight in one so young yet has gone thru something that is extremely hard and tough, so I wanted to thank you for even in your loss you are having an impact …and I know tht you rather have a different ending just as I wish I had also…so God bless you in your journey.
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for this. I struggle being a fairly young mom; I had my daughter 2 weeks before I turned 21 and I am still in college. But I am so lucky to have her and be with her father and the support of his family so that I can continue to go to school.
I wish you every success and happiness. I can’t imagine building my life around my husband and his career and having it all taken away in an instant.
I’m glad you’re seizing life and trying to make the most of experiences made available to you. I’ve decided to put aside the big wedding and settling down in a house to study abroad in China and travel with my fiance. To me the experiences are far more important than a house, cars, a “stable” job. We’re told all these things are success and mean we’ve “made it” in life, but I’m not so sure that’s true.
I feel all the hurt your mentioned the part about being in your 60’s and looking back and have missed out on doing. Well I am now 60’s and my husband is gone didn’t happen on active duty during war time although he was in wartime and did 3 tours back to back and had the PTSD and many illnesses from being on active duty which I was there every minute thru every surgery and the last year and one have of my husbands life I was trying to fight cancer and save my own life to beable to be with my husband after all the cemo ,radiation surgeries and being very sick my husband ended his life and feel like your dislocated OH ya , and yes I know this how life goes, but, try to fight for rights. My husbands death certificate was not signed by a Doctor and now just trying to get final expenses after a year and half still hasn’t happened . I didn’t get to see my husbands body , I wasn’t allowed by the funeral home or the police dept. it was suicide as if that isn’t hard enough to never understand. Just thank you and everyone else who know what I am talking about civilians do not.
You are an amazing woman. I am very sorry for your loss. I have never experienced a loss with some that was so close to me. I know your family and friends will always be there for you when the anniversary comes around each year. I hope you suceed in everything you do in life!