It’s been almost 5 years since the death of my husband, Sgt. Brian Daniel Ardron. But let me start at the beginning.

Daniel and I had rekindled our relationship 7 years after first meeting, and within months of dating again, we married. I moved to Alaska to marry my soul mate. We were wed on November 7, 2005. Exactly one year later our only child was born.

Daniel had deployed on October 2, 2006, so he was not there when our son was born. When he was born, we named him Brian James, BJ for short. Daniel came home for the Christmas of 2006 on his R&R. Those were the 2 best weeks of my life.

On May 21, 2007, Daniel was killed. Thanks to Taryn who nominated me for a redesign of a room in my house, I have a memory room of my husband. I have told our son all about his father. Fast forward 4 years and our son’s comprehension of things is developing.

One day I got asked, “Mommy where is daddy?” Holding back the tears, I told him, “Daddy is in heaven.” “Where is that?” he asks. I told him “In the sky.” When BJ looks at his daddy’s pictures he says, “I wish daddy could come out of the sky and play with me.” I do too. When driving in the car he constantly asks me to open the sunroof so daddy can get in the car. Our son turned 5 this past November. His birthday is bittersweet.

I don’t’ know what prompted me to write this out. Maybe it was the article that cited writing helped with PTSD. The beginning of my story is in the Documentary DVD that the AWP produced. I am amazed how this community has come together to support one another. Thank you Taryn. I am grateful for having a place to share and vent.