Waking up
it hits me again
the world ticks by…

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Waking Up

Posted By Amy, Proud Military Widow of SPC Geoffrey Johnson

Waking up
realizing it’s all still real
and you’re still gone
I’m here all alone

Waking up
it hits me again
the world ticks by
when I just want it to end

And then I get up
and I realize
I’ll be ok
I smile at a friend
and laugh at a joke
and the world ticks by

I miss you everyday
but life goes on anyway

I remember waking up the first few months after he died, and it would hit me anew the reality of his death.  I would have to survive each morning through this realization, and have to process my world without my husband.  Sometimes, even years later, I still wake up and the reality of losing him hits me again.  At first, I didn’t have the strength or the desire to get up and keep going.  I had friends and family and even small children to coax me out of my little hole where I wallowed in pain and disbelief.  It was a dark place, although my memory is kind to me and has shut a lot of it out.  And, eventually I did find my own inner strength and my own desire to move forward through my life even though it felt like the world should have ended with that moment I learned he was gone.  I still miss him, but I’m ok, and some days I’m better than ok and life is beautiful.

Waking Up

Waking up
realizing it’s all still real
and you’re still gone
I’m here all alone

Waking up
it hits me again
the world ticks by
when I just want it to end

And then I get up
and I realize
I’ll be ok
I smile at a friend
and laugh at a joke
and the world ticks by

I miss you everyday
but life goes on anyway

I remember waking up the first few months after he died, and it would hit me anew the reality of his death.  I would have to survive each morning through this realization, and have to process my world without my husband.  Sometimes, even years later, I still wake up and the reality of losing him hits me again.  At first, I didn’t have the strength or the desire to get up and keep going.  I had friends and family and even small children to coax me out of my little hole where I wallowed in pain and disbelief.  It was a dark place, although my memory is kind to me and has shut a lot of it out.  And, eventually I did find my own inner strength and my own desire to move forward through my life even though it felt like the world should have ended with that moment I learned he was gone.  I still miss him, but I’m ok, and some days I’m better than ok and life is beautiful.

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