I met my husband, Jonathan, when I was coming out of my first marriage. A friend had taken me out for my birthday, and I saw this guy sitting at a table across from us holding a neon green, and yes I am serious, piece of paper that said HI on it. He came over and we started talking…. Right away, there was something about him that had me head over heels for him. I couldn’t place it then, but I can now. He was so out going and caring, the life of the party. He made me smile when I wanted to pull my hair out! We got married about 9 months after meeting, and he fought so hard to gain sponsorship of my son from my previous marriage, so that the Army would recognize my son as Jonathan’s child. (I had a son from my previous marriage.) I gave birth to our daughter 6 months after we were married. And 3 months after that, he deployed to Iraq with a Stryker Brigade for the 15 mo Surge. He told me he would be back with us in no time. I prayed every night that he would be. There were many close calls, but thankfully he came home. We PCS-ed to Ft Carson, shortly after he came home. Jonathan was with us in Ft Carson for 10 months before he deployed to Afghanistan. Prior to him leaving, we had our 3rd child, our daughter, 3 months before. He knew this deployment was going to be different. I thought it was just because I was so sick, and the Dr’s weren’t sure what was going on. But Jonathan knew this was the deployment that he wouldn’t come home from.

On August 1st, 2009 at 10:36 am, my husband along with another soldier were killed when a pressure plate for an IED was detonated. The love of my life, the man I had found when I had given up all hope. The man that took my son in, and made my son his son… was taken from us in the blink of an eye….. I am 6 months, 18 days, and 8 hrs and 12 min into this, and it’s been one hell of a ride….
After my husband deployed, I was in and out of the hospital. Which wasn’t normal for me at the age of 27. I lost all my hair (I was Mr. Clean bald) but he still thought I was the most beautiful woman on earth…. He died never knowing what was wrong with me. Two weeks ago, I had a hysterectomy, because I had cancer. The one thing he always thought was going to happen. Only he feared I wouldn’t make it. I have loved and lost the most wonderful husband and father. A part of myself died the day Jonathan did….. And I wondered how I would continue my life, knowing he was never coming home to me again. But he gives me strength everyday to face everything I have gone through the last 6 months. I will always love him, and he will always have the biggest place in my heart.
He knew he wasn’t coming back from this deployment. But I always thought he was invincible and nothing could take him away from me. But I’ve learned not to take things for granted. I have 3 beautiful kids, our wish was to have 4, but it didn’t work out for either of us. But at least we were blessed with 3 precious kids. He will always be my strength, and he will forever live on in the eyes of our children and I.