My name is Gina. No… I am not a widow. But, I feel like I am. I was engaged to the man of my dreams, Adam Armstrong. We were engaged. And I think the hardest bit, was we never had the chance to get married. Never.
Adam served in the army. He had been stationed in Oklahoma, Virginia and Illisheim, Germany. He specialized in fixing apache helicopters.
Adam committed suicide early this summer. Which is hard. I don’t know why, he didn’t leave a note. Which bothers me. Why would he leave when we were so close to being together? Why would he do this? I’ve come to learn that I don’t blame him. I don’t know why he did what he did, but it isn’t his fault. And it isn’t mine. And it’s not the military’s. Honestly, I wish I knew… what happened. I sometimes think it would have been easier if he had died in combat, rather than this way. But, the truth is. I love him. I always will love him. I know that I must live on. I must find someone new… but, I will always love Adam. His spot in my heart will never leave. And I know I will see him again.
Honestly, I feel that it isn’t just the married/widows that sometimes need support. I am not a widow. In fact, because Adam and I never married, the military doesn’t even view me as close. To the military, I’m just a girl. Which is hard. Because I was HIS girl. His future wife. His everything. I know it. I hope support will be given to not only those girls who lost a husband, but lost a boyfriend. I mean, we all started that way. As Military Girlfriends.