My husband, Major Jeff Ausborn was killed on April 27, 2010 when an Afghan pilot killed him and 8 other airmen.

My husband volunteered to teach Afghanis to fly the C-27 aircraft; he was so patient, kind and understanding.  He was killed by someone he trusted. I spoke to him 2 hours before he was killed.  The next morning he did not call or email.  I knew something was wrong.  He always called/emailed/IM’d to let me know he was safe; but not on this horrible day.

Two men in blues came to my front door in the middle of the day.  No amount of begging or pleading could get them to admit they made a mistake.  I have gone through the dignified arrival, the memorials, the funeral,the arrival of personal effects, the autopsy, etc.  None of these events can ever encapsulate my loving, wonderful, amazing husband.  Everyday I was blessed that he had chosen me to be his wife.  I couldn’t stand to be away from him.  I missed his so much that I volunteered as a contractor to Afghanistan to spend the last 6 months of his assignment to be in the same side of the world as he; it did not come to fruition.

I wonder if our life together was real or if it was a dream; he really was an angel.  I teased him about his halo.  I don’t know what to do without him.  I am thankful to American Widow Project; it has helped with all the daily pain and to know that I am not the only one going through this asinine journey.